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There is only one good sex. The female one.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Female
Sex
Good

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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
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The introduction of homeopathy forced the old school doctor to stir around and learn something of a rational nature about his business. You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths to destroy it.
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How far we travel in life matters far less than those we meet along the way.
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Whiskey is for drinking water is for fighting over.
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The average man don't like trouble and danger.
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One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare
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I am only human, although I regret it.
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the size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider’s measurement of it but only by the measurements applied to it by the person specially affected by it.
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Frankness is a jewel only the young can afford it.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
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We laugh and laugh. Then cry and cry- Then feebler laugh, Then die.
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The Impartial Friend: Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all--the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.
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Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.
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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
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The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to institutions are extraneous. . . .
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It is better to give than receive- especially advice.
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Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
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I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
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Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
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