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There is only one good sex. The female one.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Good
Female
Sex

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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
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I don't believe there is anything in the whole earth that you can't learn in Berlin except the German language.
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Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.
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The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
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Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
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Congress: America's only true criminal class.
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It is a shameful thing to insult a child.
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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them the man ran away and fell to raping and robbing and murdering everywhere, and Frankenstein was horrified and in despair, and said, I made him, without asking his consent, and it makes me responsible for every crime he commits. I am the criminal, he is innocent.
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Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
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A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
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When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.
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Everybody lies...every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception.
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A man may have no bad habits and have worse
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