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We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
People
Sea
Sick
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In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.
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Whiskey is for drinking water is for fighting over.
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The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.
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Let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of this scene
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Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
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Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.
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Being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was dead all the time.
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You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure--because he's got feathers on him, and don't belong to no church, perhapsbut otherwise he is just as much a human as you be. And I'll tell you for why. A jay's gifts and instincts, and feelings, and interests, cover the whole ground. A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman.
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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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Every generalization is dangerous, especially this one.
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Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
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Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
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To be great, truly great, you have to be the kind of person who makes the others around you great.
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
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My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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