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We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Sea
Sick
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People

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I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.
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The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.
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An uneasy conscience is a hair in the mouth.
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Humor is man's greatest blessing.
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Always tell the truth then you don't have to remember anything
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Never argue with people who buy ink by the gallon.
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Next to possessing genius one's self is the power of appreciating it in others.
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
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The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
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I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.
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There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.
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Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs?
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Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes.
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A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
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I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.
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It is so unsatisfactory to read a noble passage and have no one you love at hand to share the happiness with you. And it is unsatisfactory to read to one's self anyhow - for the uttered voice so heightens the expression.
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