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Do one thing every day you don't want to do.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Thing
Every

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Civilization largely consists in hiding human nature. When the barbarian learns to hide it we account him enlightened.
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Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail the more you pay, the more is exacted.
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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
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All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
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None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
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Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
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It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
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Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.
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I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
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God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. (In God we Trust) is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.
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Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
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The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
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Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
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All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
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The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.
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All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
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I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.
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More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the [biblical] texts that authorised them remain.
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