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Do one thing every day you don't want to do.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Thing
Every

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To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
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Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
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I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
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A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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Better a broken promise than none at all.
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There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par.
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Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
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The exquisitely bad is as satisfying to the soul as the exquisitely good. Only the mediocre is unendurable.
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The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
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There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.
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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
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In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
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I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.
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If I had more time, I would have written less.
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The ability to find solutions to life's challenges is what makes us grow as a person.
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The thing for us to do is just to do our duty, and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it or not.
Mark Twain
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[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.
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Vote: The only commodity that is peddleable without a license.
Mark Twain
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The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.
Mark Twain
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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.
Mark Twain