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Being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was dead all the time.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Cracked
Sweat
Dead
Worry
Rich
Wish
Time
Wishing

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
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France has usually been governed by prostitutes
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Drop this mean and sordid and selfish devotion to the saving of your shabby little souls, and hunt up something to do that's got some dignity to it! Risk your souls! Risk them in good causes then if you lose them, why should you care? Reform!
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
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Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.
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Broad, wholesome, charitable views .. can not be acquired by vegetating in one's little corner of the earth.
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A habit cannot be tossed out the window it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
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A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.
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Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.
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Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
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The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.
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Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
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Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.
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I couldn't bear to think about it and yet, somehow, I couldn't think about nothing else.
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Your actions speak so much louder than words.
Mark Twain
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We laugh and laugh. Then cry and cry- Then feebler laugh, Then die.
Mark Twain
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If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
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Troubles are only mental it is the mind that manufactures them, and the mind can gorge them, banish them, abolish them.
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