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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Marries
Hero
Girl
Doe
Persons
Person
Book
Things

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To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement.
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Where every man in a state has a vote, brutal laws are impossible.
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An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words it feels like music.
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No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot
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It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.
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If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
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God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
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You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you
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If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
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I have done more for San Francisco than any of its old residents. Since I left there it has increased in population fully 300,000. I could have done more - I could have gone earlier - it was suggested.
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If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
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I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.
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There is only one good sex. The female one.
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Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.
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When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.
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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
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Nature knows no indecencies man invents them.
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Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.
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The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of the nations, and from the mass of the nation only-not from its privileged classes.
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