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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Hero
Girl
Doe
Persons
Person
Book
Things
Marries
More quotes by Mark Twain
Go to bed early, get up early-this is wise.
Mark Twain
Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so it is the sickening grammar that they use.
Mark Twain
A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.
Mark Twain
Life does not consist mainly - or even largely - of facts and happenings.
Mark Twain
Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.
Mark Twain
I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.
Mark Twain
The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.
Mark Twain
There is only one expert who is qualified to examine the souls and the life of a people and make a valuable report - the native novelist. ... And when a thousand able novels have been written, there you have the soul of the people and not anywhere else can these be had.
Mark Twain
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
Mark Twain
The cigar-box which the European calls a 'lift' needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is all right in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man's patent purge-it works.
Mark Twain
Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.
Mark Twain
Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community, and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
Mark Twain
Let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of this scene
Mark Twain
Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
Mark Twain
If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.
Mark Twain
By trampling upon the helpless abroad with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home.
Mark Twain
No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.
Mark Twain
Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
Mark Twain
A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment.
Mark Twain
A better idea than my own is to listen.
Mark Twain