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Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Feel
Feels
Bartender
Every
Austen
Time
Jane
Like
Gates
Novel
Heaven
More quotes by Mark Twain
When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart.
Mark Twain
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
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I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.
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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
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I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I'm not in any hurry.
Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Mark Twain
If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'
Mark Twain
And how moving is the eloquence of the untaught when it is the heart that is speaking!
Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to resort to violence.
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The humorous story is told gravely the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
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Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
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There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.
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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
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Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
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I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because the opportunity to make promising efforts in that direction has offered itself to us with a frequency out of all proportion to the European experience.
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Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time.
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They say that you can't live by bread alone, but I can live on compliments.
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The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
Mark Twain
Ethical man: A Christian holding four aces.
Mark Twain
