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Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Prove
Fool
Open
Better
Look
Looks
Mouth
Mouths

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Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
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The choir always tittered and whispered all through the service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I have forgotten where it was.
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The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.
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I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.
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My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess second, don't drink - to excess third, don't marry - to excess.
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He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
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Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.
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I wrote 'Tom Sawyer' and 'Huck Finn' for adults exclusively, and it always distressed me when I find that boys and girls have been allowed access to them. The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean.
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When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
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Until I came to New Mexico, I never realized how much beauty water adds to a river.
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It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet.
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.
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Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.
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I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because the opportunity to make promising efforts in that direction has offered itself to us with a frequency out of all proportion to the European experience.
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What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
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The public is the only critic whose judgment is worth anything at all.
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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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A powerful agent is the right word: it lights the reader's way and makes it plain.
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There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
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