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I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Repeat
Repeats
Idiot
Serve
Congress
More quotes by Mark Twain
Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands.
Mark Twain
History doesn't repeat itself it rhymes.
Mark Twain
But it was ever thus, all through my life: whenever I have diverged from custom and principle and uttered a truth, the rule has been that the hearer hadn't strength of mind enough to believe it.
Mark Twain
I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.
Mark Twain
Man proposes, but God blocks the game.
Mark Twain
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.
Mark Twain
By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.
Mark Twain
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
The average man don't like trouble and danger.
Mark Twain
The truth hurts, but silence kills.
Mark Twain
I don't know anything about this man. Anyhow, I only know two things about him. One is, he has never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why.
Mark Twain
We regret the things we don't do more than the things we do.
Mark Twain
A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.
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What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can honestly if we must. Who is God, the one and only true? Money is God. Gold and Greenbacks and Stock-father, son, and ghosts of same, three persons in one These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
Mark Twain
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
Mark Twain
We are strange beings, we seem to go free, but we go in chains - chains of training, custom, convention, association, environment - in a word, Circumstance, and against these bonds the strongest of us struggle in vain.
Mark Twain
It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
Mark Twain
Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known fifty years ago?-they were not operations, they were executions.
Mark Twain
I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education
Mark Twain
