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The only certainties in life are death and taxes.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Certainties
Certainty
Taxes
Death
Life
More quotes by Mark Twain
If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.
Mark Twain
There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.
Mark Twain
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain
I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.
Mark Twain
It may be called the Master Passion, the hunger for self-approval.
Mark Twain
That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane not in all things, but in religious matters.
Mark Twain
There is no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level.
Mark Twain
While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
Mark Twain
Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.
Mark Twain
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
Mark Twain
I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolute.
Mark Twain
The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.
Mark Twain
Broad, wholesome, charitable views .. can not be acquired by vegetating in one's little corner of the earth.
Mark Twain
I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.
Mark Twain
There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
Mark Twain
I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
Mark Twain
You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'
Mark Twain
Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.
Mark Twain
The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
Mark Twain
I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.
Mark Twain
