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Congress: America's only true criminal class.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Criminals
Congress
Class
True
America
Criminal

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It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed.
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Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community, and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
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But we love the Old Travelers. We love to hear them prate and drivel and lie.
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
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It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
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There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts and stirring up their finer feelings in an inquisition. One is the system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened civilized people.
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But death was sweet, death was gentle, death was kind death healed the bruised spirit and the broken heart, and gave them rest and forgetfulness death was man’s best friend when man could endure life no longer, death came and set him free.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
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If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
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There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.
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