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Congress: America's only true criminal class.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Congress
Class
True
America
Criminal
Criminals

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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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In the laboratory there are no fustian ranks, no brummagem aristocracies the domain of Science is a republic, and all its citizens are brothers and equals, its princes of Monaco and its stonemasons of Cromarty meeting, barren of man-made gauds and meretricious decorations, upon the one majestic level!
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The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.
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Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it.
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To eat is human, to digest, divine
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All human rules are more or less idiotic.
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I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They can't be made to do it in any possible way.
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We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.
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A friend is someone who stays in when the rest of the world has gone out.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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If I had more time, I would have written less.
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The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.
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A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.
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We can't always have the beautiful aspect of things. Let us make the most of our sights that are beautiful and let the others go
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Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
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Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
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He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
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We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.
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You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks - in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present you should have recognized them earlier.
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