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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Years
Amazed
Men
Stupid
Learned
Seen
Public
Father
Didn
Much

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I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly but their wives had grown old. These were good women it is very wearing to be good.
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.
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I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.
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When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a leetle more expensive.
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It is better to support schools than jails.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.
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Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
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None but the dead have free speech.
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Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
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Don't wait the time is never just right.
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All war must be just the killing of strangers against whom you feel no personal animosity strangers whom, in other circumstances, you would help if you found them in trouble, and who would help you if you needed it.
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Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.
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There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par.
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.
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The only certainties in life are death and taxes.
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A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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