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It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Consists
Storm
Thoughts
Head
Forever
Blowing
Mainly

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Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
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We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention.
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The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.
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They say that you can't live by bread alone, but I can live on compliments.
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Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.
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When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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History has tried hard to teach us that we can't have good government under politicians. Now, to go and stick one at the very head of the government couldn't be wise.
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I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.
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God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
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I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.
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Training- training is everything training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature it is folly there is no such thing as nature what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training. We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
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I am living a new and exalted life of late. It steeps me in a sacred rapture to see a portrait develop and take soul under my hand. First, I throw off a study - just a mere study, a few apparently random lines - and to look at it you would hardly ever suspect who it was going to be even I cannot tell, myself.
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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.
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Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of smartness--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artifici
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Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
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That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground.
Mark Twain
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If all men were rich, all men would be poor.
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
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