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When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Would
Books
Entering
Like
Heaven
Sensations
Place
Comment
Find
Kingdom
Book
Kingdoms
Austen
Take
Private
Comments
Feel
Taste
Sensation
Feels
Probably
Jane

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The heart is the real fountain of youth.
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We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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The calamity that comes is never the one we had prepared ourselves for.
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Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.
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I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.
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I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.
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Some things you can't find out but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.
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A historian who would convey the truth has got to lie. Often he must enlarge the truth by diameters, otherwise his reader would not be able to see it.
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You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
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Let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of this scene
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When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.
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