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When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Heaven
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Austen
Take
Private
Comments
Feel
Taste
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Probably
Jane
Would
Books
Entering
More quotes by Mark Twain
We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.
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Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.
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It is a shameful thing to insult a child.
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None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness but we can try.
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Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
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...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.
Mark Twain
Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They can't be made to do it in any possible way.
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People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
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One must travel, to learn.
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Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?
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Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
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There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous, but we have only to be patient and wait for the result: then we recognize that no others would have answered the purpose, and we are rebuked and humbled.
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Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.
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Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
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