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When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Feel
Taste
Sensation
Feels
Probably
Jane
Would
Books
Entering
Like
Heaven
Sensations
Place
Comment
Find
Kingdom
Book
Kingdoms
Austen
Take
Private
Comments

More quotes by Mark Twain

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I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.
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Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
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The frankest and freest and privatest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter.
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Compliments make me vain: & when I am vain, I am insolent & overbearing. It is a pity, too, because I love compliments. I love them even when they are not so. My child, I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat.
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A man can be a Christian or a patriot, but he can't legally be a Christian and a patriot - except in the usual way: one of the two with the mouth, the other with the heart.
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When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.
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High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.
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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.
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They say that you can't live by bread alone, but I can live on compliments.
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The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
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Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
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But death was sweet, death was gentle, death was kind death healed the bruised spirit and the broken heart, and gave them rest and forgetfulness death was man’s best friend when man could endure life no longer, death came and set him free.
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
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Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time.
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Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
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If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
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