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I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Right
Way
Autobiography
Build
Found
Persons
Person
Ever

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
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All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
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Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
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Ours is the land of the free-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)
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When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.
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By law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's and each obeying its own law.
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Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so it is the sickening grammar that they use.
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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
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Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
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We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
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It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
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The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too.
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When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.
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Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.
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In love, you pay as you leave.
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A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
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Stars and shadows ain't good to see by.
Mark Twain