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I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Person
Ever
Right
Way
Autobiography
Build
Found
Persons

More quotes by Mark Twain

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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
Mark Twain
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We don't cut up when mad men are bred by the old legitimate regular stock religions, but we can't allow wildcat religions to indulge in such disastrous experiments.
Mark Twain
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Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Mark Twain
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High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.
Mark Twain
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Between us, we cover all knowledge he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
Mark Twain
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The only certainties in life are death and taxes.
Mark Twain
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People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
Mark Twain
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Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.
Mark Twain
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Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.
Mark Twain
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There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
Mark Twain
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
Mark Twain
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I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.
Mark Twain
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It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.
Mark Twain
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If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.
Mark Twain
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You cannot have all chiefs you gotta have Indians too. Perfect love cannot be without equality. A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. We are all alike, on the inside.
Mark Twain
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The proverb says, Born lucky, always lucky, and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.
Mark Twain
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Never miss an opportunity to shut up.
Mark Twain
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It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
Mark Twain
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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
Mark Twain
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That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.
Mark Twain