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I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Way
Autobiography
Build
Found
Persons
Person
Ever
Right

More quotes by Mark Twain

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The frankest and freest and privatest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter.
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
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Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.
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A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
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Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the insane.
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When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
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When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.
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I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.
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The average man don't like trouble and danger.
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Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
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By trampling upon the helpless abroad with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home.
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It will take mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details, and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss.
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College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
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Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
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There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.
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A friend is someone who stays in when the rest of the world has gone out.
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I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled with the blessed peace, as I did yesterday when I learned that Michael Angelo was dead.
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A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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Children have but little charity for one another's defects
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But it was ever thus, all through my life: whenever I have diverged from custom and principle and uttered a truth, the rule has been that the hearer hadn't strength of mind enough to believe it.
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