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I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Autobiography
Build
Found
Persons
Person
Ever
Right
Way

More quotes by Mark Twain

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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
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A man can be a Christian or a patriot, but he can't legally be a Christian and a patriot - except in the usual way: one of the two with the mouth, the other with the heart.
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We like to read about rich people in the newspapers the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
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...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.
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Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.
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A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public
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In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
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Customs do not concern themselves with right or wrong or reason. But they have to be obeyed one reasons all around them until he is tired, but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
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Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.
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I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it.
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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
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Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.
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I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
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Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Mark Twain
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When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
Mark Twain
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God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. (In God we Trust) is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.
Mark Twain
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Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.
Mark Twain
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Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
Mark Twain
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Ours is the land of the free-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)
Mark Twain