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Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Beings
Human
Humans
Need
Needs
Blush
Creatures

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Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.
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I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.
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Damn these human beings if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return
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It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
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I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because the opportunity to make promising efforts in that direction has offered itself to us with a frequency out of all proportion to the European experience.
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
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Manifestly, dying is nothing to a really great and brave man.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.
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A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
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It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.
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It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
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Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.
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Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.
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