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Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Human
Humans
Need
Needs
Blush
Creatures
Beings

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We like to read about rich people in the newspapers the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
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What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one's self-approval.
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Bridgeport? Said I. Camelot, Said he.
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A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
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What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can honestly if we must. Who is God, the one and only true? Money is God. Gold and Greenbacks and Stock-father, son, and ghosts of same, three persons in one These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
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Until I came to New Mexico, I never realized how much beauty water adds to a river.
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There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.
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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
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Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.
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Let your joy be unconfined!
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.
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No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms-fortunately harmless forms as a rule.
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The funniest things are the forbidden.
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Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.
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Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
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Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
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I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.
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Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine.
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