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A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Pessimist
Informed
Optimist
Wells
Well
More quotes by Mark Twain
One thing at a time, is my motto - and just play that thing for all it is worth, even if it's only tto pair and a jack.
Mark Twain
In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
Mark Twain
Man proposes, but God blocks the game.
Mark Twain
Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.
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I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
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Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
Mark Twain
It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chicago-she outgrows his prophecies faster than he can make them. She is always a novelty for she is never the Chicago you saw when you passed through the last time.
Mark Twain
Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!
Mark Twain
There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
Mark Twain
God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.
Mark Twain
There will never be a perfect time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!
Mark Twain
Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
Mark Twain
You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure--because he's got feathers on him, and don't belong to no church, perhapsbut otherwise he is just as much a human as you be. And I'll tell you for why. A jay's gifts and instincts, and feelings, and interests, cover the whole ground. A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman.
Mark Twain
I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age in 1977 I shall be 142.
Mark Twain
A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.
Mark Twain
In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.
Mark Twain
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
I was educated, I was trained, I was a Presbyterian and I knew how these things are done. I knew that in Biblical times if a man committed a sin the extermination of the whole surrounding nation-cattle and all-was likely to happen. I knew that Providence was not particular about the rest, so that He got somebody connected with the one He was after.
Mark Twain
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
Mark Twain
Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
Mark Twain
