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It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Well
Must
Nigh
Hanged
Escapes
Maximum
Behave
Sense
Wells

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I couldn't bear to think about it and yet, somehow, I couldn't think about nothing else.
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The frankest and freest and privatest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter.
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging. It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor of it overlooked no detail that could furnish weariness, distress, harassment, and acute and long-sustained misery of mind and body.
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The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.
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There's some human instinct which makes a man treasure what he is not to make any use of, because everybody does not possess it.
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The peoples furthest from civilization are the ones where equality between man and woman are furthest apart-and we consider this one of the signs of savagery.
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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
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The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.
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I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
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Frankness is a jewel only the young can afford it.
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Ethical man: A Christian holding four aces.
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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
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All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.
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The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.
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You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure--because he's got feathers on him, and don't belong to no church, perhapsbut otherwise he is just as much a human as you be. And I'll tell you for why. A jay's gifts and instincts, and feelings, and interests, cover the whole ground. A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman.
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A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.
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America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.
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