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It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Maximum
Behave
Sense
Wells
Well
Must
Nigh
Hanged
Escapes

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It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chicago-she outgrows his prophecies faster than he can make them. She is always a novelty for she is never the Chicago you saw when you passed through the last time.
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There is only one good sex. The female one.
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Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
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A group of men in evening clothes looks like a flock of crows, and is just about as inspiring.
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I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
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That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.
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Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.
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I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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In the South the war is what A.D. is elsewhere they date from it.
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I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.
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Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
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In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget. On the contrary, it is important to remember, so that we should not let such atrocities happen again. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. It means taking what happened seriously...drawing out the sting in the memory that threatens our entire existence.
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Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.
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I've never let my school interfere with my education.
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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
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Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
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Prediction is difficult- particularly when it involves the future.
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