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Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Happens
Thing
Always
Men
Dreads
Dread

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If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
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There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
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Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.
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Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
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when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
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As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.
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Troubles are only mental it is the mind that manufactures them, and the mind can gorge them, banish them, abolish them.
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Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.
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There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practiced in the tricks and delusions of oratory
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I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed.
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Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use.
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There is a sumptuous variety about the New England weather... In the spring I have counted one hundred and twenty-six different kinds of weather inside of four and twenty hours.
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Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer him the position.
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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.
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Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.
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