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The Bible is a wonderful book you can prove anything you want with it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Prove
Wonderful
Anything
Book
Bible

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To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
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Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
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I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
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What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
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I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task.
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
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All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
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High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
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India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.
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Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.
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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
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The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
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When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
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As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
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My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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