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The Bible is a wonderful book you can prove anything you want with it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Book
Bible
Prove
Wonderful
Anything

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Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
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Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, political, or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies.
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Imagination labors best in distant fields.
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Braveness is resistance to concern, mastery of panic - not absense of anxiety.
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The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.
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More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat.
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When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.
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By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.
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There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
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Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
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Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
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If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.
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The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter the writer gets his limitless freedom of statement and expression from his sense that no stranger is going to see what he is writing.
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America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.
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When someone dies, it is like when your house burns down it isn't for years that you realize the full extent of your loss.
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To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
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Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
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Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
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The human race is a race of cowards and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
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The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.
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