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You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Learned
Teach
Come

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Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.
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When one's character begins to fall under suspicion and disfavor, how swift, then, is the work of disintegration and destruction.
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An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.
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Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.
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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
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If ever you've been down in the dumps, hear these iconic authors share with you more than their writing wisdom.
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A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty.
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A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and -nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way.
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Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
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If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
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There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones it can lift men to angelship.
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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
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Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
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[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.
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Let your joy be unconfined!
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We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain.
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I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.
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One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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