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People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Law
Made
Never
Love
Sausage
People
Watches
Watch
Respect
Either

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Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it.
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Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
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He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.
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Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
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How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. That is where the true evil lies.
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Humor is man's greatest blessing.
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Italy is the home of art and swindling home of religion and moral rottenness
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I have no race prejudices, and I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being-that is enough for me he can't be any worse.
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Among other common lies, we have the silent lie - the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
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A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.
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What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
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