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People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Either
Law
Made
Never
Love
Sausage
People
Watches
Watch
Respect

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It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
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Never waste a lie you never know when you may need it.
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Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.
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If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.
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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
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I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task.
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I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die.
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An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
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I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
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Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.
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