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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
System
Knowing
Nations
Religion
Suspecting
Others
Despising
True
Sane
Government
Ass
Nation

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
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You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
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The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty
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Is a person's public and private opinion the same? It is thought there have been instances.
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Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
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I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
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An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the sun, but because it comes seldom the world thinks it's a grand thing.
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I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography.
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Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon.
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We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.
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I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.
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We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes
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It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
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Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
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A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.
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The solution to our water problems is more rain.
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Experience of life (not of books) is the only capital usable in such a book as you have attempted one can make no judicious use of this capital while it is new.
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The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.
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