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The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Source
Humor
Joy
Secret
Sorrow
More quotes by Mark Twain
I don't mind what the opposition say of me so long as they don't tell the truth about me. But when they descend to telling the truth about me I consider that this is taking an unfair advantage.
Mark Twain
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
Mark Twain
If ever you've been down in the dumps, hear these iconic authors share with you more than their writing wisdom.
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Sum all the gifts that man is endowed with, and we give our greatest share of admiration to his energy. And today, if I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to Energy and fall down and worship it!
Mark Twain
Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.
Mark Twain
Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can't print the results
Mark Twain
I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you,will feed you-I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect-neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck.
Mark Twain
Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
Mark Twain
There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to but a hog is different.
Mark Twain
Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.
Mark Twain
I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.
Mark Twain
If I can capture truth in its simplest form, beauty will follow like a sledgehammer.
Mark Twain
There is no security in life, only opportunity.
Mark Twain
Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community, and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
Mark Twain
One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
Mark Twain
Never tell a lie-except for practice.
Mark Twain
There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
Mark Twain
A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
Mark Twain
I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.
Mark Twain
Always obey your parents - when they are present.
Mark Twain