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The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Secret
Sorrow
Source
Humor
Joy

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First catch your Boer, then kick him.
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Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
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I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.
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A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
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We are all alike, on the inside.
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Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
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I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because the opportunity to make promising efforts in that direction has offered itself to us with a frequency out of all proportion to the European experience.
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It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
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It's so damned humiliating.
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Italy is the home of art and swindling home of religion and moral rottenness
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If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
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I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
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To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
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The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
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Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, political, or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies.
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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
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