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A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Cures
Educated
Thinks
Valuable
Half
Everything
Physician
Thinking
Physicians
Cure

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The human being places sexual intercourse above all other joys, but leaves it out of his heaven.
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Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
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The Bible is a wonderful book you can prove anything you want with it.
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I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.
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The funniest things are the forbidden.
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I like Joan of Arc best of all my books and it is the best I know it perfectly well.
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The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
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If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
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In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
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If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could to-day.
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There was a great difference in boats, of course. For a long time I was on a boat that was so slow we used to forget what year it was we left port in.
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Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail the more you pay, the more is exacted.
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You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
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A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.
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Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
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To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, Our Country, right or wrong, and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?
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The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
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The ancients stole all our ideas from us.
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