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After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Marriage
Everything
Edited
Wrote
Works

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Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
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Where every man in a state has a vote, brutal laws are impossible.
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
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If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.
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Good wine needs no bush a jug is the thing.
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.
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I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled with the blessed peace, as I did yesterday when I learned that Michael Angelo was dead.
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Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
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The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
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When someone dies, it is like when your house burns down it isn't for years that you realize the full extent of your loss.
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A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.
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I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
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A historian who would convey the truth has got to lie. Often he must enlarge the truth by diameters, otherwise his reader would not be able to see it.
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All men are ignorant, just on different subjects.
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The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
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Never argue with people who buy ink by the gallon.
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For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit.
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