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I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Girl
Knee
Knife
Skinny
Knives
Knees

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Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
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We don't cut up when mad men are bred by the old legitimate regular stock religions, but we can't allow wildcat religions to indulge in such disastrous experiments.
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I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.
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Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?
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Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
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Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.
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If I can capture truth in its simplest form, beauty will follow like a sledgehammer.
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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
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Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
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Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
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Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use.
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He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
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It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.
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I always did hate for anyone to know what my plans or hopes or prospects were—for, if I kept people in ignorance in these matters, no one could be disappointed but myself, if they were not realized.
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High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.
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A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
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We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain.
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You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.
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