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Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Poorly
Wasted
Stranger
Fiction
Written
Truth
Time

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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
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If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him.
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Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
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A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.
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Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case.
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The average man don't like trouble and danger.
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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
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The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.
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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
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If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to see it through somebody else's eyes, because that man will always exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my account of the thing will be the most impressive.
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I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
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It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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There is no security in life, only opportunity.
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In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget. On the contrary, it is important to remember, so that we should not let such atrocities happen again. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. It means taking what happened seriously...drawing out the sting in the memory that threatens our entire existence.
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To believe yourself brave is to be brave it is the one only essential thing.
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Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.
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