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All human rules are more or less idiotic.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Less
Human
Humans
Conventionality
Idiotic
Rules

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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
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We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
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Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
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Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.
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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
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If everyone was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.
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Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave.
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
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Stars and shadows ain't good to see by.
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
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Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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Every generalization is dangerous, especially this one.
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When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
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Good wine needs no bush a jug is the thing.
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So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
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I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
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You are a coward when you even seem to have backed down from a thing you openly set out to do
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