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I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Drink
Moods
Heard
Drinks
Rather
German
Two
Decline
Calmest
Music
Student
Californian
Would
Mood
Californians
Musician
Adjective
Students
Adjectives

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Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.
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Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.
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Vote: The only commodity that is peddleable without a license.
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Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.
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Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
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when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
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You want to be very careful about lying otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught.
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
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Doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on.
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Rags, wretchedness, poverty and dirt, those signs and symbols that indicate the presence of [Muslim] rule more surely than the crescent-flag itself, abound.
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You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
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The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
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Stars and shadows ain't good to see by.
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