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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Fish
Fishes
Ambition
Horse
Secret
Women
Every
Outsmart
Men
Horses

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Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
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For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit.
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To believe yourself brave is to be brave it is the one only essential thing.
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Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.
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It will take mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details, and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss.
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The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
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Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.
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I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.
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If horses knew their strength we should not ride anymore.
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I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
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The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.
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And so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.
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A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
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Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave.
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Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
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The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone
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A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
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