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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Men
Horses
Fish
Fishes
Ambition
Horse
Secret
Women
Every
Outsmart

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When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
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There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.
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If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
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There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
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The convention missionaries call modesty has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.
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It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.
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Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket - which is but a matter of saying, Scatter your money and your attention but the wise man saith, Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
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Life does not consist mainly - or even largely - of facts and happenings.
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The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.
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Rags, wretchedness, poverty and dirt, those signs and symbols that indicate the presence of [Muslim] rule more surely than the crescent-flag itself, abound.
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For England must not fall: it would mean an inundation of Russian & German political degradations which would envelop the globe & steep it in a sort of Middle-Age night & slaverly which would last till Christ comes again - which I hope he will not do he made trouble enough before.
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There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.
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There isn't any way to libel the human race.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
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