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The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Life
Second
Went
Education
Half
School
Firsts
First

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None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness but we can try.
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Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
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Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
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We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain.
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I can live for two months on a good compliment.
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Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
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I like criticism, but it must be my way.
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Always obey your parents - when they are present.
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The Mississippi River will always have its own way no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise.
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Temperate temperance is best intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
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If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I have noticed that when a man is right down cheerful, he is seldom unhappy for the time being. Such is the nature of man.
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
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We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
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Cats are the wildest of the tame and the tamest of the wild
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If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
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Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface
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