Quote

I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Better
Pieces
Twenty
Circuses
Way
Side
Till
Reckoned
Went
Twenties
Tent
Sides
Spending
Tents
Use
Piece
Wasting
Money
Dollars
Circus
Around
Save
Dollar
Dived
Back
Gold
Opposed
Watchman

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He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
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I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.
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In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.
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Between us, we cover all knowledge he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
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We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.
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It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.
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Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.
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There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
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Golden rule: Made of hard metal so it could stand severe wear, it not being known at that time that butter would answer.
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I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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The human race is a race of cowards and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
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There is no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level.
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Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
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Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
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Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
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English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.
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We are strange beings, we seem to go free, but we go in chains - chains of training, custom, convention, association, environment - in a word, Circumstance, and against these bonds the strongest of us struggle in vain.
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