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Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Containing
Liquid
Vessel
Corruption
Beer
Drinking
Politics
Liquids
Demagogue

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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
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None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
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To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else -- these are things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.
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What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
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When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
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I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
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The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.
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A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and -nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way.
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The peoples furthest from civilization are the ones where equality between man and woman are furthest apart-and we consider this one of the signs of savagery.
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A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.
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To trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible, vindictive, fierce and ever fickle and changeful master.
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Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
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This autobiography of mine is a mirror, and I am looking at myself in it all the time. Incidentally I notice the people that pass along at my back - I get glimpses of them in the mirror - and whenever they say or do anything that can help advertise me and flatter me and raise me in my own estimation, I set these things down in my autobiography.
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There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.
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Until I came to New Mexico, I never realized how much beauty water adds to a river.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
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School gets in the way of my learning.
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Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
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None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
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