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It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the best they can.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Trying
Bear
Long
Atheism
Time
Bears
Taken
Presbyterians
American
Damnation
Give
Persuade
Best
Infant
Giving
Weary

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The dreamer's valuation of a thing lost - not another man's - is the only standard to measure it by, and his grief for it makes it large and great and fine, and is worthy of our reverence in all cases.
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He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
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Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my lifelong keeping. You cannot see its waves as they flow toward you, darling, but in these lines you will hear...the distant beating of its surf.
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We have the best government that money can buy.
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We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
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Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me and they keep multiplying but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.
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How far we travel in life matters far less than those we meet along the way.
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Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
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Synergy - the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously.
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
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In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.
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When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
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I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.
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