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Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Dissect
Frog
Frogs
Humor
Dies
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More quotes by Mark Twain
One must travel, to learn.
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A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
Public Servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.
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A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.
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Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.
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The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
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When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface
Mark Twain
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt.
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It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.
Mark Twain
I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.
Mark Twain
None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness but we can try.
Mark Twain
Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
Mark Twain
Experience of life (not of books) is the only capital usable in such a book as you have attempted one can make no judicious use of this capital while it is new.
Mark Twain
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
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I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.
Mark Twain
The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too.
Mark Twain
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
Mark Twain
I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They can't be made to do it in any possible way.
Mark Twain
Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
Mark Twain
