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Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Frog
Frogs
Humor
Dies
Like
Dissect

More quotes by Mark Twain

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We don't cut up when mad men are bred by the old legitimate regular stock religions, but we can't allow wildcat religions to indulge in such disastrous experiments.
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Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.
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when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.
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Make your vacation your vocation.
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...heaven for climate, and hell for society.
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Education is what remains when what is learned has been taken away.
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
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One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge.
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Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.
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When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.
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The Impartial Friend: Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all--the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.
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The less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it
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There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.
Mark Twain
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Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so it is the sickening grammar that they use.
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I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.
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To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
Mark Twain
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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
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Time spent with your children is time wisely spent.
Mark Twain
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But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.
Mark Twain