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Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Like
Dissect
Frog
Frogs
Humor
Dies

More quotes by Mark Twain

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You want to be very careful about lying otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught.
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We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes
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Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
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You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!
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We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
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We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.
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The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty
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I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
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We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
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One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.
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We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer is the Indian's God...Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge
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I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.
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But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of therest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before.
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Life becomes fully understandable only the moment we realise that we are all mad.
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There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.
Mark Twain
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The humorous story is told gravely the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
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If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!
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There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
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