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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Men
Commands
Salary
Command
Noise
Bigger
Higher
Less
Makes
More quotes by Mark Twain
I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
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I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
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A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.
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The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
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As a boy, I once saw a cart of melons that sorely tempted me. I sneaked up to the cart and stole a melon. I went into the alley to devour it, but no sooner had I set my teeth into it, than I paused, a strange feeling coming over me. I came to a quick conclusion. Firmly, I walked up to that cart, replaced the melon - and took a ripe one.
Mark Twain
It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
Mark Twain
Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
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Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.
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Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. That is where the true evil lies.
Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth.
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Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs?
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By law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's and each obeying its own law.
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Hunger is the handmaid of genius
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It is human to exaggerate the merits of the dead.
Mark Twain
Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.
Mark Twain
I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.
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Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
Mark Twain
...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.
Mark Twain