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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Less
Makes
Men
Commands
Salary
Command
Noise
Bigger
Higher

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Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.
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Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.
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The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting
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The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
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My own luck has been curious all my literary life I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
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A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
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Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.
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Unused talents gives you no advantage over someone who has no talent at all.
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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
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What is there that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a man's breast with pride above that which any other experience can bring to him? Discovery!
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Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.
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Do right and you will be conspicuous.
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That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.
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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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There is not a single celebrated Southern name in any of the departments of human industry except those of war, assassination, lynching, murder, the duel, repudiation, & massacre.
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Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
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I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases
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It is easier to manufacture seven facts out of whole cloth than one emotion.
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There's some human instinct which makes a man treasure what he is not to make any use of, because everybody does not possess it.
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